Muskrat

Who are you when nobody else is around? When others are present? Who are you to your friends? And who are you online? Why do you choose the words you choose Or display the behaviors you do when you do?

I am very passionate about math But I need to talk through emotionally talk through with emotion and understanding the emotional reasoning behind the decisions that were made in order to perform mathematics. This is why I took algebra 1 4 times, maybe 5 times but once under a different name, over the course of highschool and my first round in undergrad. Am I post grad if I'm pursuing a second degree under a Master of Science and I've already graduated with a bachelor's?

Ever since I was a kid, even when reading words on physical paper, or anything not on a screen I suppose, I'd read words that I'd swear were there, then I'd reread it and they'd be gone. I would never mix up letters or the order of letters or the order of words. But it looks like it still may be dyslexia. Or lifelong visual hallucinations. I'm not sure, still looking into it I just reread the text and read very slowly and repeat the words inside my head like I'm telling a story or repeating what I read silently.

Muskrat roughbeast Stars, Salt, and Skin Keegan Dan Danny Daniel Wheeler Christopher Chris Daniel Christopher Wheeler But is this rooted?

I still have a copy of the entire thing. I'll share it eventually. Maybe. With whom, I am unsure. Or you can find it on your own You can do it, I know you can! Sincerely, roughbeast

It's symbolic. It's not gone, it has its place and lyrics will be included on the album... But it was haunted. I am not descriminating against anyone or any existence. However, this blog... I guess I want it to have a certain flow, and it's alright to be an architect. With love and respect I have created a sacred place for that work.

18142042332 If you reach out, I will not answer at first. Please leave a voicemail, text, or call a specific number of times in a row at a specific interval from a number attached to information about you that is easily found through a Google search. If you do any of these things I will respond, I promise.

Album 2, which is actually album 5 or 6, is in the works. I have a lot of the music recorded, lyrics are the poems found on this blog. I just need to write and compose a little more then put it all together. I haven't chosen a title. I like Harvest, Eternal Blue, Zero Day, and Muskrat. It will likely be none of those, however.

A strange thing happens How they move through us Something as simple as the time of day The planet's position in spacetime The temperature of the air The amount of food and water we take in These little things I am not immune to feelings of rot But it's important to let them go To just let them Move through you Like the weather passing through Or the breeze against your skin It's strange how our forms change At once full of beauty Then ugly, disdainful to look upon One of the hardest parts of existing Whatever that may be Is accepting Acknowledging And adapting Evolving I believe the core self is fluid Ever changing Yet there is a facet that is unchanging A facet that is rooted Maybe it's a multifaceted substance Or occurrence This event existing with you If you can hold onto it Understand it And manipulate it I think that's one of the best things you can do As they move through us Hold onto love Someone taught me the importance of laughter The value of a smile It s...

It took all of two days to accomplish I feel proud, and relieved. I'll be able to get out of the shelter I won't have to worry about beds filling up and having to walk all night for fear of falling asleep in temperatures bellow zero There were a few nights of sleeping on benches, bus stops There were many nights of grieving someone I loved for a long time And all that I lost because of them But now it's all so clear I am going back too my institution And I am going to get a ton of money And be extremely successful And have a second degree The first was a BA in psychology This one will be BS in computer science (or computer engineering... I haven't decided) What if by this time next week I have my own apartment? A car? And air fryer? A car? I made everything better so quickly I'm astounded I didn't do it sooner It only took two fucking days.

I found myself in a large and empty room With moulding ran along the walls And ceiling so high to touch it I had to climb Crawling along the walls Which I rarely did because to reach the ceiling was to be close to the stains And she loves to crawl along the roof and down the sides, still I'm sure of it But the holes started to appear one by one Little dots I shut closed with pieces of paper and cloth Sometimes wool or cotton Now and then a protruding spout would shoot venom or acid Or a glassy eye would be visible in the dark Exotic creatures hid atop the fan And the stains grew and spread Still, you ignore the ceiling Even when I write it on the walls Or take a knife to the bed Smashing the screens and busting through plaster Only to be greeted with the damage of humming vibration Barely audible So I am left to my prayers As I calmly and silently take the transducer to the outlet And the battery to my skin And set the world ablaze Before going outside and tuning the frequency So t...

I believe in love I believe in goodness Friendship, loyalty, and bravery All of that Disney, Harry Potter bullshit I don't believe in revenge I believe in forgiveness I believe in trust and treating others as if they are true This does not the same as being stupid, or forgetting Too many people forget It's not about winning or losing It's about being a good person Being kind to others Being good to one's surroundings as well as the habitats of others That is the most important thing of all Do you not feel better when you surrender to the goodness of love! Do you not feel relief from the pain brought by emotions like grief, anger, jealousy When you realize they are not to be savored nor are they productive when held onto until they cause rot Yes, it's been said these things are evolutionary advantageous Adaptive qualities But just as with anything else they too can evolve And in order to be advantageous should be made to adapt I believe they are meant to And maybe re...

I have a Bachelor of Arts in psychology. Today I decided I'm going to go back to school for a Bachelor of Science in computer science. The brain and the computer. I think the combination sounds perfect.

I saw a man standing on the highest bough Near the reservoir And a coffin laid on the slope  Behind a black car from which a man sought to fish The other brought down from the highest bough "Go quickly, now" She said I thought I could see it in her minds eye "Through the backdoor, if there is any money left..." So I walked as if brave enough to be As the cars sped past and sirens hailed the secret quarantine of the soul And the light started to fade And the chill ran through Not even the priests knew how long we had been gone And the boots the witch once wore Broke the frost bitten toes that worked the earth And I breathe out through my mouth And inhale through my nose Hidden away like a diamond in the rough Beasts will play this game with gods And my right eye sleeps alive as the left eye reaps The creatures from a willow's root And mourning I wrote our names in the sand And washed away our fingerprints at the river's edge And the witch still sits by the wi...

 https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRteBU59/

I shake off my wounds at the spot hear the creek Shit, my head (is bleeding soft soft down my side Ice is melting under the fender of the white truck Body in the street by the curb Under red light Or left in the ashes of the house that burned in the electrical fire on Halloween Mouthful of lithium ion Bluetooth glow under morphine and Percocet Softly humming along with the subatomic frequency Eternal blue left on zero day As I'm stood beside my grave at night A cistern of poisoned water running to my veins A hot rail train pounding in my head I am God, I am the knight I am the light on the edge of the event horizon I am the hole in the bed where you lay I am the golden arm And the hand that spun and plucked the dead from the sleepy eyes Heavy hearted and glassy eyed I carry my head under my armour No gun nor knife Just a cat at my ankles And tongue next to cheek I lay bare my wounds in the sun near the creek)

 I've been playing a secret game Hidden With the Gods And the dead Among the ether and the connection between all things With frequencies and love //hiddengame_active=true