in the water

I've been floating through the sea

Diving down in the depths

Hunting for pearls

I bring the bottom of the world back with me

I sleep in the dark

Inside my cave

I've never been alone like this

As I am now, with who I am right now

With all that I've found

And all that I seek

I don't know really how I want to live my life

How I will make this new shoreline and the fields beyond it

I don't know how I will move my own body through the waves

With it's changing form

I feel scared

And I feel such a hunger

It fills my head and the space around me

Who am I to become now?

Am I a dangerous creature?

But I will hold fast

Even though it's so easy I know I will not faulter

My heart is broken

And I myself am a heartbreaker

But I will continue in my pursuit

Though I know not that which pursues me

I wait

Biding myself and my time

I watch

And I listen

I used to think that I want to feel it all

But is it mine to be felt?

Some things do not need to be held

And some are only to be let go

I still cry sometimes

I lay awake

Alone and aware

Still

Like the night air

But I want to run

I want to play

I want to dance

Even though I am alone I am so terribly and consumed in love

And I want nothing more than for love to be with me

I've disappeared in a lot of ways

I am hidden

I myself am encrypted

But I will learn the code

I will learn to more aptly and acutely manipulate the program

And with greater meaning and purpose

And I will sing

And I will breathe on my own